Normally, I’d look forward to my weekends. For one, I wouldn’t have to work. Two, I could catch up on studying and homework that I badly need to do for each of my classes and MCAT. And three, I can effectively plan for the future during this time (like if I need to plan an event for my pre-medical club, etc).
Well, unfortunately, I haven’t been able to enjoy the weekends, especially this month. I mean, it should have been worst last semester when I started the ER scribe job (those 5pm-2am shifts were definitely something to get used to and I can’t afford to do those at this time), but after hording almost all of the weekend 9am-6pm shifts just to meet my minimum of 8 shifts per month…I’m kind of toast with managing my time to fit every need that I hold. I have only been able to go to research once a week for only like 4-6 hours…barely going to my campus housing job as I am doing only as needed basis (they’re so amazing with flexibility, thank you Campus Housing)…I consistently go tutor and work at the desk at the Writing Center, which has provided me relief and stress at times (the stress comes from me lolly-gagging during my few moments of free time with colleagues when I could spend it locked up in a cubicle studying for MCAT and my other classes)…and here I am trying to blog so that I can rant and still stay sane throughout all of this.
Well, looks like my break will truly come post-MCAT. I took a practice test this past Sunday and I told myself if I get the same score or lower than what I did on the real thing, I’d move my test to April or May. Well, to my surprise I scored 4 points higher than what I got on the real thing…so I decided to keep the date! I can’t tell if I scored high because I took the test before (it was one time and in May or June 2013…and I only went over the test once) or if my brain was actually thinking in the correct manner to help me score well. Perhaps it was both that contributed…but we’ll see how I do on my next practice test! It definitely gave me a HUGE boost of confidence and showed me what areas I desperately need to improve on (physics and chemistry…math is not my thing). So, instead of studying a different subject each day like I was doing, I’m just cramming all the physics and general chemistry topics this week and the next and then hopefully once I hit biology and organic chemistry it’ll be easier (verbal is a crapshoot so I’m not even going to bother even though it was my lowest score on the real thing…but only by one point compared to the other subjects…).
Ah, well I am hoping for the best. It’s difficult to study for the MCAT when you’ve got to attend a gazillion, million meetings and study for anatomy and physiology or Polish (if only I was a native speaker I could sleep through the class…but I’m totally not!!!). I have weekly quizzes for anatomy and physiology and 2 quizzes a week for genetics lab. Let me tell you, they’re easy, but super annoying to study for! I don’t mind doing all the homework and quizzes, but with the MCAT looming over my head and all this pressure of needing to be in a million places at once has got me in pieces.
Luckily, my brain and heart are still keeping me alive, one day at a time. That is really the key to keeping your sanity. When I open my Google calendar and see my schedule, it makes me want to bang my head against the table. But instead of moving around stuff and pushing things back even more like I normally do in my scary panic mode of trying to make things work out, I just use the time I would normally spend panicking with actually doing what I planned! Whether it’s studying, attending meetings or writing this blog…the work gets done efficiently with this pressure.
Too bad my skin isn’t cooperating very well, especially around my eyes…but I’ll save that for another time because all I want to do is sleep and dream MCAT success at this point (but I have an exam in anatomy and physiology looming so I better dream about that too).
And this cold weather isn’t helping the mood…ah well what do you expect? Struggles are here for a purpose and you just got to keep moving forward.