If you have ever had the opportunity to hang around some kids, you know that sometimes they say some pretty funny stuff. I thought I’d share some of the things I hear from the boys I nanny, and some of the kids I work with in schools.
I am constantly cleaning up after the boys, especially Sam. Even though he is only about to turn 3, I try to tell him to clean up his toys after using them before taking out more. He was in the kitchen one day finishing lunch while I was straightening up the living room.
Me: Are these boys ever going to learn to clean up after themselves? Or is it never going to happen?
Sam: (from the kitchen) It’s never gonna happen!
Helping Matt get the boys situated after school with homework and snacks and such…
Sam: “I love my daddy. I love you dad. Lauren, do you love my daddy?
Me: Umm….sure Sam. (AWKWARD).
Jack has a bad habit of leaving the bathroom light on….like EVERY time he goes in there.
Me: Jack, every time you go to the bathroom, you leave the light on when you’re done. It is a complete waste of electricity. Next time I walk past the bathroom and the light is on with no one in there….I’ll….I’ll…put peanut butter in your ear!
Jack: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I uh gotta go! (and he ran away pretty quickly)
During the election between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama, I printed out some election activity worksheets for the boys to do. One of them was draw a picture of who you think would be a good president…
Ben said: aw nuts!…All of our brown markers don’t work.
Jack while watching Olympic soccer…“Hope Solo!!??!! Is she related to Han?”
There was no need for words on this one. Sam came up behind me, didn’t say a word, and waited….just waited for me to turn around. I screamed so loud, I think I scared him a little bit.
A little girl in the preschool I am in right now is playing with the toy tigers. She hands me one and says, “You can be the girl tiger and I’ll be the boy tiger.” Without using my brain, I stupidly asked, “How do you know which one is which?” HOPING the answer would not be what I expected to hear, she said, “Because the girl is orange yellow and the boy is orange orange. Duh!” I was relieved and QUICKLY moved on to something else.
The last couple times I have taken Sam to visit my co-workers at the shoe store, he has either thrown up, or had a really bad accident in his diaper. So, I told him that we weren’t going to bother them with our germs for a while. The next time we drove past the store he says, “Hi shoe store! We’re not visiting today because every time I poop or puke.”
Sam likes to help when making lunch or baking. So, while in the middle of making grilled cheese I told him he could stir the tomato soup and water before I put it on the stove. He starts stirring saying “Bate! Bate! Bate!” (which means Mix, Mix Mix in Spanish). With all the Bate-ing, he got some on his shirt and he said, “Oh darnit, now my shirt’s all dirty.”
Again in the preschool, I was doing letter and word puzzles with a few of the kids. Each puzzle has an animal on them that is in two parts. The kids are supposed to use the letters and pictures to put the puzzles together. As we were doing so, one girl said “I’m going to put them together a different way. Here’s a fish, and here’s a pig. HAHA! It’s a Pigfish…A Pish!!”
Eating a snack with Sam. Sam: “Lauren, you watch me?” Me: “Yes, Sam.” Sam: “You’re my babysister?”
Me: “”Haha, no, Sam, I’m your BabySITTER.” Sam: “Haha yeah….I don’t have a babysister, do I?”
Hope it made you laugh as much as it made me laugh! Have a great week!